*NOTE* This review has been made possible thanks to Google translate.
Alright, here’s the story behind this review (because lately it seems like all my reviews have a back-story). A while back I saw this Crazy Thing on Pinterest, and immediately pinned it to my “What this is, I don’t even…” board. It was that strange looking. So of course, I had to find out if I could get my perverted little paws on one. Long story short, I could, and I did. So I now bring you…
|Yes, it’s exactly what it looks like.|
Loosely translated (and I do mean loosely) the toy is: The Tower is Crazy. I’ve been calling it “the Tower” for short. Why “the Tower”? Because it’s a dildo of the Eiffel Tower, of course! This is easily the most unique dildo that I own, and I still can’t get over the shape!
At it’s heart, the Tower is a basic straight dildo made out of
PVC, which is not my favorite1 material, but I can accept it if I have to.
Like I mentioned at the start of this review, I’m doing this with the help of Google translate, and probably not surprisingly, some mistakes were made. The Tower is not made out of PVC, but TPU which is a non-porous and hypo-allergenic.
The inside of the Tower is completely hollow, which makes this a surprisingly light toy. Now, when it comes to G-spotting toys, I like heavy. But for straight-dildos, lighter is gooder. It means I can thrust for a long time without my wrists getting sore.
|I can see all the way to Paris!|
And with about 6.25″ of insertable length, thrusting is something I’m totally doing! I never thought I’d say this about a straight-up straight dildo, but I actually really love the way this one feels! It’s smooth and soft and provides a great filling sensation with its 4″ circumference (measured right below the “head” of the Tower). The head is very slightly bulbous, which I personally like. It’s got a circumference of 4.25″ inches, which is a slight enough difference to not be over challenging. There is a very small seam right under the “head” which is easily felt with your finger-tips, but honestly, I didn’t feel it at all when the toy was inside of me. There are other seams on the base of the tower, but since I really don’t think you’re supposed to put that part inside of yourself, it shouldn’t be a problem.
|Don’t put this part in your vag please|
Speaking of having this thing inside of me… I like it! It is a genuinely pleasant experience. I’m going to be honest and say that I don’t often use dildos on my own when I masturbate. My go-to toys tend to be vibes, because there’s less thrusting and more insta-gasms. But this is a dildo that I can and do use on my own. The “windows” in the base of the tower are perfect for me to slide my fingers into, so instead of thrusting in and out, like I would with a more traditional dildo, I can actually pull the Tower into my vag! I love that! It’s a unique way of masturbating (at least for me), and I’m a fan of this method.
And never fear, the Tower is partner-friendly too! Again, it’s the “windows” that give a great place to grip and thrust without getting sore wrists.
The only issue that I seem to have so far with the Tower, is that it’s a bit long for my tastes. I can sometimes feel the bulbous tip poking at my cervix if I get a little too enthusiastic. I think that’s because of the pulling motion that I use (as described above, remember?), and it probably depends on where I am in my cycle2 But other than that, I’ve found fucking the Eiffel Tower to be a very pleasant experience. And there’s a sentence I never thought I would type.
Since I know some of you are looking at this toy and wondering “can I put that in my ass?” (and I love you guys for it), the answer is a tentative yes. Because of the flared base, this should be an anal safe toy. However, because PVC is a porous material, it will pick up some nasty stuff over time, so you might want to use a barrier like a condom for anal play, and never never never go ass-to-vag without changing the condom. You really don’t want to be bringing the local ass-bacteria into your vag, it doesn’t belong there and it will not be happy.
|My two Towers :o)|
So I think that just about wraps it up for the Tower. Now, I know what you’re all going to ask next, and I’m afraid I’m going to have to disappoint you. The Tower is not available in the States, yet. The company is still trying to get a lot of publicity, and to build up a client-base. If you want to know more, you should check them out at their facebook page, and say hi to Sebastien for me!
When it becomes available, I’ll let you guys know and update the post with a link to buy one. Because really, who wouldn’t want to fuck the Eiffel Tower?
Hey guys! I just heard that the tower will soon be available for purchase in the U.S.! I’ll keep you posted!
1 Usually, I only use/review toys that are made out of 100% non-porous materials like silicone, glass and steel; but I made an exception for the Tower. Partially because my French is rusty (read: non-existent), and I wasn’t actually sure what the toy’s material was before I got it, and partially because I just couldn’t resist a dildo shaped like the freakin’ Eiffel Tower!
*NOTE* See corrections above.↩
2 Some people menstruate, get over it. :oP↩