A Flash in the Pan

Alright cats and kittens, it’s that time again. You know what time I mean. That wondrous and magical time when I get to share my thoughts on another toy with all of you lovely folks (and even you not-so-lovely folks… *quints* you know who you are)! That’s right, it’s review time! And this week I’m reviewing the…

The Flash is a new “g-spot and clit” vibrator by FunFactory. It’s made from 100% silicone with a plastic base. It runs on 2 AAA batteries (which I’m not a huge fan of, but whatever) and is apparently waterproof. *The battery compartment seems to be stuck on pretty damned tight, and it does have an o-ring, so it should be seal able, but honestly I just haven’t tested it out in any water yet, I’m wary for some reason.*

There are 6 vibration patterns ranging from your standard issue to deep pulsations and quick bursts of vibrations. To cycle through the patterns, you have to push on the little + button that’s built into the toy’s silicone. It’s one of one two controls (+/-) which are considered to be “intuitive”. And I suppose they are, to an extent. 

You turn the toy on by pressing +, and off by holding down the – until it has cycled through all of it’s various patterns. This is something that I find rather annoying. I don’t mind being able to switch back-and-forth between vibration patterns, but personally, I would much rather be able to turn the toy completely off with the push of one button. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m super-sensitive after I come, and I need to be able to stop any and all vibrations right away or it’s just too much for my poor vag to handle. Shrug, c’est la vie.

A long time ago, at some job I’ve now blissfully forgotten, I was told that the best way to criticism someone is using something called a “compliment sandwich” (sounds delicious, no?), which just means that you hide the insult between two complementary thoughts.

So, here goes:

Could you tell which one was the criticism? 

Even though the Flash is just over 5″ long in total, the clit arm kind of gets stuck on my clit (which it’s supposed to do, I’m not complaining about that), which actually gives this vibe only about 3″ of insertable length. That’s not really long enough to reach my g-spot, let alone rock its world.

And can we talk about the fact that while this thing is curved, it’s curved the wrong way?

Yeah… What’s up with that FunFactory? Normally, I’m a big fan of your toys (I’ve got like 5…) but I think you guys kinda dropped the ball on this one. Now don’t get me wrong, the vibrations are nice and I like the patterns, they feel really nice… when I can feel them. The general area of my vag feels pretty pleasant when I’ve got the Flash inside me, but that’s about all I can feel. To reiterate: The g-spotting part of this toy fails on two counts. 1: it’s not long enough when inserted, and 2: it’s curved away from my g-spot. 

But this is a “dual” vibe, so let’s talk about the clit arm, shall we? I could make another compliment sandwich, but I think I’m out of bread. This part of the toy just doesn’t do… anything for me. It doesn’t have it’s own motor, and the rumbly sensations from the (pretty decent) motor in the body of the toy don’t transfer well through all of that silicone. I mean, I can feel that there’s something buzzing on my clit, but it’s just not enough to get me off.

The only time I actually got off with this toy was when I took it out and pressed the “g-spotting” end against my clit. That did the trick, but it’s not what I expect to have to do with a “dual” vibe. Frustrating. One the other hand, the weaker vibrations mean that it’s pretty quiet. It’s like a consolation prize, I guess.

The Flash is (at least) easy to clean with a little bit of anti-bacterial soap and water. Yes the body of the toy is made out of silicone, but I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: DO NOT BOIL ANYTHING WITH A MOTOR! Thank you. Because the Flash has moving parts, please do not boil it as a cleaning method. Anyway, the plastic might melt and hello, it’s got batteries in it. Just not a good idea all around.

After cleaning, I recommend letting the Flash air-dry, because like many silicone toys it’s a freakin’ lint-magnet. And lint in your vag can’t be pleasant (not that I would know…).

I think that’s just about all that I have to say about the Flash. It was a good idea with a somewhat poor execution. Listen guys, make it a bit longer, curve it in the correct direction and let the clit arm have some power and then we can try this again. I will say this about the Flash. It is small, and it is good for traveling, so there’s a plus.

If you’d like to pick one up for yourself, you can do so from any one of many fine retailers. Or, you can pick one up at edenfantasys.com.

The Flash was provided to me by edenfantasys.com free of charge in exchange for my honest opinion, which I hope that I have provided.

I think this might just about wrap things up for June. I might have one more review in me (now that the wedding planning is mostly done), but if not you guys can look forward to more reviews next month, including my first ever review of some porn! Yay! That’s fun, right? 

So check back soon! Or, you can always subscribe and be notified the very instant a new post goes up! (great for stalking)

:o)