Beware the Kraken!

You’re sitting alone in your apartment, maybe watching some TV, maybe reading a book. Suddenly you think you can hear some music, seeming to come from nowhere, and every where at the same time. You look up. “Hello?” you call out, “is anybody there?” The music is getting louder, it almost sounds like… no, it couldn’t be… could it? Your heart starts to race, the music is getting louder and louder, and now you’re absolutely certain that yes, it is the theme from Jaws.

Out of the corner of your eye you can see something cresting in the water (which is weird because there isn’t usually an ocean in your apartment). Just as you open your mouth the scream it surfaces and you see that it’s… a tentacle?

But not just any tentacle, a WhipSpider Rubberworks Tentacle!

This tentacle is easily one of the most beautiful toys that I own. The craftsmanship is exquisite, and it’s very obvious that the folks over at Whipspider Rubberwoks take a lot of pride in their toys.

I’ve had my eye on this tentacle pretty much since I started getting involved with sex toys. I’ll admit that at first I found it strange and bizarre, and I still think that both of those adjectives apply. But now, those are my adjectives, I love strange and bizarre. After seeing countless “life-like” dildos, it’s always nice to see something a little bit different. And it doesn’t get much more different than a tentacle now does it?

Now I know that tentacles might not be your thing, but hear me out, okay? Because this isn’t just a work of art (though it certainly is that), it’s also a highly functional dildo which can bring you endless oceans of pleasure (see what I did there?).

The tentacle is just about 6.5″ if you measure from the base to the tip, but as you can see in the picture, it had a wicked curve (the better to hit your G-spot with) to it, so overall the length is more like 7-7.5″ depending on how stretched out it is.

The girth also varies from about 3.25″ in circumference at the tentacle’s very tip to about 7″ right before the flared base (the base is shaped like an oval, 2″ x 3″ in diameter). I know, that seems like a lot, and it is. If you’re not into girthy toys, then this probably isn’t the tentacle for you.1

Like all Whipspider Rubberworks toys, the tentacle is made of 100% soft squishy (lint-loving) silicone. It’s completely non-porus, and can safely be shared once it’s been sterilized. (I recommend boiling it, and then standing over the pot and saying “mmm, calamari!”)

But enough about specs, you guys probably want to know how this monster (sea-monster?) feels! Well, it feels a-mazing! See all of those little suction cups in the photo? They provides the walls of my vag with some much loved stimulation. If you’re a fan of different and unique textures, you’ll love this one! I can almost feel every single one of those cups when I’m getting fucked with the tentacle.
Speaking of fucking, because the toy is curved I sometimes have to sort of… twist the thing to get it in. And while that can be a little tiring for my wrists, it’s soooo worth it! I end up reduced to a puddle of goo at the hands of the tentacle’s twisty-textury-G-spotty goodness.

Sounds pretty good so far right? And I haven’t even gotten to my favorite part yet…. Are you ready for it? Ready…? The tentacle GLOWS IN THE DARK! And when I say it glows, it GLOWS! It took me a bazillion tries to get a decent picture, but I had to let you guys see for yourselves just how awesome this thing looks:

Amazing huh? When I first got it, I literally couldn’t stop staring. I mean, the colors of the tentacle are stunning to begin with, but then you take it in the dark and… Guh! Can’t stop staring!

Okay… TL:DR, I love this toy! I love the shape, the color and the texture. I love that it glows in the dark, and I love that it’s a freakin’ tentacle (but I’m weird like that). I love that this is a toy that exists, and that I can own.

Are you sold yet? You can get one of your own direct from Whipspider Rubberworks for $79.99 (plus shipping, I’m assuming). Or check out all of the other cool/odd/awesome stuff they have. Want a butt-plug shaped like one of the Easter Island heads? They’ve got you covered.

Happy tentacle-ing!

P.S. For those of you who are wondering, yes, I have been listening to a lot of ‘Welcome to Night Vale‘ lately, how could you tell?

1. Whipspider Rubberworks does make a more slender version of the tentacle, called (appropriately enough) the Slender Tentacle. According to their web-site, the base of that tentacle is only about 2.25″ in diameter.

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