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The Pegging Book
Book Report · Review

The Pegging Book

October 9, 2022 septimusreviewsLeave a comment

Everything you always wanted to know about pegging, but had no idea where to even get starting asking because let's be honest, sex in general can be an uncomfortable topic to broach, and an activity like pegging is unfairly steeped in shame by a society that has no idea how to deal with sexual pleasure in a positive way.

The Butters “Palm Grease”
Review

The Butters “Palm Grease”

April 28, 2020April 28, 2020 septimusreviews1 Comment

Palm Grease: Has a great butt-feel!

A Flash in the Pan
Review

A Flash in the Pan

June 22, 2013April 23, 2020 septimusreviewsLeave a comment

Alright cats and kittens, it's that time again. You know what time I mean. That wondrous and magical time when I get to share my thoughts on another toy with all of you lovely folks (and even you not-so-lovely folks... *quints* you know who you are)! That's right, it's review time! And this week I'm… Continue reading A Flash in the Pan

The Tower is Crazy!
Review

The Tower is Crazy!

June 16, 2013April 23, 2020 septimusreviewsLeave a comment

*NOTE* This review has been made possible thanks to Google translate. Alright, here's the story behind this review (because lately it seems like all my reviews have a back-story). A while back I saw this Crazy Thing on Pinterest, and immediately pinned it to my "What this is, I don't even..." board. It was that… Continue reading The Tower is Crazy!

Mini Mail-Call
Review · Teaser

Mini Mail-Call

June 10, 2013April 23, 2020 septimusreviewsLeave a comment

I just wanted to throw-up a quick, mini, mail-call post to share two things that were delivered to me today. First up is a new "mini" vibe from FunFactory called the Flash (there will be many super-hero jokes to be had, I can already tell): It's orange, I die! :o) Look for a review of… Continue reading Mini Mail-Call

iReview iGino
Review

iReview iGino

June 1, 2013April 23, 2020 septimusreviewsLeave a comment

You guys have no idea how excited I am to finally be reviewing this toy! I wanted to have this review up last week, but real life stuff (specifically planning my wedding) has gotten in the way. But never fear! Septimus is still here, with a review of the... iGino One A little background before we… Continue reading iReview iGino

International Mail-Call!
Review · Teaser

International Mail-Call!

May 22, 2013April 23, 2020 septimusreviews2 Comments

Welcome to the "International" edition of Mail-Call! I've gotten some truly awesome stuff in the mail over the last week, and I'm psyched to finally be able to share it with you guys! First up, all the way from Switzerland (a mere 4,100 miles from my humble home) is the iGino! The iGino is a… Continue reading International Mail-Call!

Leo-Weenie!
Review

Leo-Weenie!

May 16, 2013April 23, 2020 septimusreviews1 Comment

Happy Halloween!!! Okay, I'm not crazy. I know that it's May, and that Halloween is long past, but that doesn't mean we have to stop celebrating, right? And what better way to celebrate the Best Holiday of All Time than with a Halloween themed dildo! Because at least in my mind, orange + bats = Halloween.… Continue reading Leo-Weenie!

The Long-Awaited Luna Beads Review
Review

The Long-Awaited Luna Beads Review

April 20, 2013April 23, 2020 septimusreviewsLeave a comment

Before we start into this review, I need to clarify some terminology. I am going to be reviewing LELO's Luna Beads. Because LELO calls them beads, I am going to call them beads. This is because I want to be cool and hip, and also because the word "balls" makes me giggle like a 10 year… Continue reading The Long-Awaited Luna Beads Review

First Fleshlight
Teaser

First Fleshlight

April 18, 2013April 23, 2020 septimusreviews2 Comments

You guuuuuys! Guess what finally came in the mail today! My very first Fleshlight! The Jenna Haze Lotus (from the Fleshlight Girls line). Or, rather, my fiance's very first Fleshlight. It took months and months of pleading and begging, but he finally agreed to let me buy him his very first sex toy! It's not fair,… Continue reading First Fleshlight

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Septimus Reviews

a sex toy, book, and porn review blog

On Her Back

vanilla free sex

Super Smash Cache

Insertable Pervertibles

Oh Joy Sex Toy

Ryn's Revels

Here to help other people make wiser purchases than I did.

dangerouslilly.com/

Hey Epiphora

Conquering the world one sex toy at a time

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